Letting the Polar Bear out of the Bag

The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week I had posted on facebook about suprises.  To me, suprises come in all shapes and sizes.  The surprise given to us was described as an elephant…today it comes as a polar bear. So here its:


Dan called me on Thursday this last week to find out if I’d be ok with that idea.  He actually started the conversation out with, “Would you be mad if I said yes to something without asking you, first.”  I actually thought he both went out and bought something or…. I really wasn’t sure what to expect.  Of course I said yes.  Then a split second later I worried.  The whole purpose of staying here was to make sure our two older kiddos stayed in one place for high school.

Our oldest daughter is swaying back and forth.  Part of it is the unknown.  Here she knows exactly what she has in front of here.  There, she doesn’t know.  Really she made the decision to go because it is new and exciting, but inside it’s scary. I respect her so much. I respect that she’s willing to let go of comfort and stick her neck out there for something different.  Her dad and I know that no matter where she is, she has the grace and beauty in her spirit to be successful.  She’s proven it time and time again.  Our youngest wasn’t sure what to think, either.  Her and I spent the night looking at Japan and the different things she can do over there.  We found out that CYS offers surfing lessons and roller hockey.  I think the roller hockey sold her.  It isn’t ice hockey, but pretty close.  Bub… Bub looks forward to the historical aspect.  He’s really into WWII history and he’s excited to go to a few places and actually see and feel where it all took place.

You all know me… I can’t help but have a million and one pictures flash through my head.  I look forward to the food, also!!  It’s going to be an unforgettable adventure. We only have four short months to get everything ready.  Parts of me are full of anxious energy.  We don’t exactly know which place we will be going.  Once we do we can start setting things in motion.  Dan’s fear is us not all going together. I know it’d make things much easier if we did.  We are going to do everything we can to get Sav with us.  I know one place it is highly recommended that you not take pets to.  I’m hoping we don’t go there.

What is so interesting is what happen before this.  Over the 4th of July we had a family reunion with Dan’s family.  I spent some time with my family.  Took a road trip with one of my best friends and the other is coming out in a few weeks! It’s almost like the writing was on the walls!

So, let the adventure begin! Highs, lows, and everything in between!


Dirty Toes

I’m a dirt person. I trust the dirt. I don’t trust diamonds and gold.
Eartha Kitt

So where does this post begin?

July 3rd a good place to start?

Not really.

I can say that we had a great family reunion. It was awesome to see Dan’s family and we had a really good visit.  I had fun playing in the pool with the kids and catching up with everyone.  Sometimes it still feels awkward to all be together.  I did try my best to chat with my sister-in-laws.  I know we’re not around much, and when we were…I never really took the time to sit and chat.

The crazy part were the little ones.  Sitting there watching moms and dads chase little ones around and remembering how complicated life seemed.  There were so many extras you had to haul with you.  I did feel bad at one point.  One of the little ones gets night terrors when she consumes too much sugar.  Well I had given her a little extra cotton candy.  For the most part, I think it was a good gathering.  It would be awesome if we could do that once a year.  Maybe not around the 4th of July. Everything was so expensive.. but at some point in the year.

Dan, Bear, and Bub went back to Wyoming the following Sunday.  Little Bee went to his parent’s house and I came back to my mom and dad’s house. This is where my story really starts.  I came here for one reason and one reason only…to battle myself and find some sort of deep courage and strength.

I came here to quit smoking. Crazy to think I needed to leave my “world” to do it…but in a way I needed that desert island to make it happen.  I needed to get away from the temptations and just focus on myself.  I knew there were 1 million and 1 things that needed to be done around here. I could keep busy….get away from the temptation to buy more… It’s been a rough week.  I didn’t just quit cold turkey.  I started limiting myself the amount I smoked.  Today will be the first day to go without.  Well I had my two and then tomorrow there will be no more.

When I first start I actually would panic about not having any.  I have learned that once that starts happening I just stop…take my shoes off and let my bare feet touch the ground so I can absorb the earth’s energy and pray for strength and courage.  Eventually it all passes and I return to work. Needless to say…my toes have been dirty a lot lately!

There’s a saying that keeps going through my mind:

It will take you just as long to swim back from that island as it took you to get there.”

Not sure where I heard it, but I know there is truth in those words.  All I can do is stay positive and busy…and try not to eat myself out of house and home 😉 Trying to snack on healthy things like fruit, salads, veggies, and drinking water by the gallons.

It’s defiantly an adventure that isn’t going to end anytime soon!