Wintering Conflict and Judgement

I wish I could tell you how lonely I am.
How cold and harsh it is here.
Everywhere there is conflict and unkindness.
I think God has forsaken this place.
I believe I have seen hell and it’s white, it’s snow-white.

― Elizabeth Gaskell, North and South

    There is something that has been in the back of my mind since yesterday morning. My daily routine involves grabbing my cup of coffee and sitting down to see what is going on in the lives of others. As I was scrolling through the feeds of Facebook, I saw someone like the update from a group page. The update talked about how they had created a private group in which its members can join to discuss various topics concerning that group’s theme. They created the group as private to weed out others who want to persecute and put them down for gathering together and sharing ideas, thoughts, etc. It left a sour taste in my mouth.

    Why do people feel the need to be judgmental? What is there to gain in causing a rift in conversation over various topics? I can understand friendly debates. That is where two differing sides sit down over coffee and share what each believes. That to me makes the most sense. Rather than having a heart full of contention, just sit down and talk about it. Are they afraid that somehow they are going to be converted? Seriously? People in this world should not have to hide the things that they believe in. We should be beyond creating groups in private to avoid the wrath and condemnation of others. Even people with “like” beliefs don’t always share the same thoughts and ideas. As a result there is contention among them. It leads to nothing but conflict. I am the opposite. I hate conflicts. I would rather sit down and learn about the other side from them and their points of view. Decide for myself if it is something I believe is right or wrong and move on with life. I feel like w limit ourselves to new friendships and relationships because, “We can’t befriend them, they are of the devil” or “Stay away from that person, they are homosexual”. It just frosts a snow cone hip high to think about all the people out there who get in the middle of these groups of people to shout and condemn them. The nicest and most interesting people I have met are people who do not share the same opinions as me…except that coffee is good.

(stepping off pedestal)

    Talking about conflict. I have been faced with confronting one of Bear’s teachers. Her music teacher of all people. I hate conflict. I was trying to piece the words together so that they were not forceful or attacking. To make a long story short she ridiculed Bear about her purple saxophone. Basically told her it was a piece of crap. Now to give her the benefit of the doubt, I was not privy to the conversations. I just know that it really upset Bear. Yes, we know it’s not the 1,000.00 saxophone I wished we could have bought. Even with it on sale, it stretched our budget. Thankfully we had a little extra help from grandparents to buy it for her. She doesn’t take it lightly. Would I expect her to take it to a professional audition? No. It’s not the best in the world, but it gives her a place to start. I don’t feel that it was ok for a teacher to put a student down based on the cost of her saxophone. She didn’t do it once, she did it on several occasions. I feel that this is a time for Bear to experiment and dabble in music. She should be encouraging this, not putting her down over the color and price of an instrument. So, my resolve was I decided not to talk to her about it. Instead I decided to write her an email. Kindly explained what the saxophone means to Bear and asked her please not say anything further regarding the cost. Pretty much told her if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all. I haven’t received anything back, so hopefully she read it and it won’t be an issue.

    Ugh conflict. This weather is a complete contradiction to Spring….lol Yesterday afternoon the wind came in and all night it sounded like a hurricane going on. Woke up this morning to a partial snow covering. It’s still flurrying and blowing around. The roads do not look fun. Eventually I will have to get out and buy some more milk. I’m thinking about making chili and letting it simmer all day. Perhaps some cinni rolls also.



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