The New Year

How was everyone’s Christmas?

 

I hope everyone had a wonderful day!

 

We did.  It’s been four years since we had Christmas in our own home.  Everything we wanted to enjoy we got to enjoy.  I should have taken pictures, but I really just didn’t have the umph to do so.  Isn’t that sad?

 

I’ve been thinking about the new year.  It is only a few days away.  2013.  When I was working my password for the computers and registers was newyear2012.  I had picked that because I was so hopeful and optimistic about the new year.  I had just felt like this last year was going to be a new chapter and we were going to move forward in life, rather than backwards.

Now I find myself sitting here wondering if we moved at all.  As a family we’ve grown closer.  I’m proud of how each person has been able to deal with me having cancer…all the treatments….all the appointments…all the times I couldn’t physically be there for concerts, track meats, games…. Everyone had to deal with it.  You couldn’t hide it from anyone.  We kept the lines of communication open and anytime anyone was having a bad day we all worked together to try and lift that person’s spirits.  We accepted that it is ok to have pity party days.  After all, we didn’t ask for this and it’s ok to just feel like you have had enough.

I guess i was hoping to move forward in other areas of life.  It’s ok that those expectations did not get met.  After all expectations are just ideas of where you hope to find yourself or others.

 

So new years resolutions…nope don’t have one.  I just want to make it past the next 12 weeks and five days.  That is how long I have until I’m completely done with treatments.  Then I can refocus and get a better idea of where I need to be and go in life.  I feel like I just need to focus on me a little longer and try to keep doing the best I can and keep accepting where I’m short.

I have an amazing family who steps up daily and really…. cancer is making us be better people.

 

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