We made through another week of Chemo. I have a theory on why the last two weeks have gone so well. Within 24 hours it’s almost out of system. It isn’t like wearing a pump for three days and having it slowly released into your body. It doesn’t stick around. This last week my blood results were excellent. The first 24 hour blood draw my MX level was already at a .5 and the next day it was a .002. I got another tiny sore on the bottom of my inside lip and a good sized one – like a cold sore on my lip, but really… the entire week was manageable. The fatigue wasn’t as bad either. Oh! I got the numb and tingling fingers and toes. I was trying to write something on friday and my fingers were numb. It was a bit commical.
Physical therapy was frustrating. I wonder if I’m ever going to walk normal again. I think for the most part I beat the fatigue by staying active. Yesterday was an awesome day. I cooked all day. I made homemade french bread, fried chicken, a new type of potato salad and peach fritters.
I had to go to Safeway to pick a few things up. Its the first time I have gone by myself. I was thinking about a conversation Dan and I had Friday night. We were talking about normalcy. When are we ever going to find this elusive lifestyle? We used to have a normal life. Back about 10 years ago when we were stationed in Kansas. When we left Kansas everything started changing. It was like someone decided to flip a switch to see how many things could be thrown at a family before they broke. Everything from the residual of deployments to personal demons. When that failed to shatter this family it was cancer. After this… We have a bright future. What could possibly we thrown at us that we have not dealt with.
While in Safe way I stopped to wait for a little old man to pick out his eggs. I couldn’t help but just stop and look at the people around me. I wondered what their lives were like and what mountains they were climbing. We are not unique people. Our struggles are no more difficult than other families struggles. Yet, you can not help but just wished you lived some sort of normal life.
Whatever the heck normal is?
I am not looking forward to this week. Tomorrow morning it will start with lab work and port access at the RMCC. I’ll see the doc and then we’ll be shuffled to the hospital. It honestly feels like a prison sentence. Thankfully I’ll have a few things to keep me occupied. My best friend sent me a box of goodies. I will have netflix on my ipad. Still working on my sleeping fairy cross stitch. I think I’m most bothered by my family having to deal with it. Dan has to take on getting kids to and from school. Bear has two softball games. There is dinners to be made and homework to finish. I wished my friends lived closer. It was hard enough to get someone to spend the day with them for the game. Its just harder to meet people here. Really we don’t know anyone here. Anyone that is dependable.
O well. That’s life for the moment.