A Table Tour…Gold Stars…Acceptance….

I thought I’d continue my tour from earlier.

This is my redneck idea of a bedside table.  LOL..  Have to love it.  Yes, that is a coffee pot.  Every night Dan loads it up… SO I don’t have to try and hobble3 to the kitchen to make coffee.  I just reach over and hit the on button.

Lets see….  Oakley sunglasses and a hanky are essential to outings or when not so close people come over.  That’s my favorite hanky. Sometimes I will wet one down with cool water and a few drops of essential oils to help deal with the hot flashes.  I believe those are hidden under the blue things in the middle.  By the way…those blue things are the best puke bags EVER!!!  Thank you memorial hospital for letting me have as many as I could take lol.

Lots of orange little bottles….to many orange bottles.  Of course the essential mountain dew…drink of my life next to coffee.  Oh see the hidden skittle bag?  next to the advil.  I don’t know what it is but I crave skittles like you wouldn’t believe.  My favorites are the ones in the blue bag…mix up ones.  Can’t forget the deodorant and lotion.  Lotion is my new best friend.  Between the environmental elements and chemical effects, my skin has taken a huge hit.  CANDLES.  Have to have candles.  Soothing in the late hours.  I need to get with partylite to order some more.  But it’s captivating on how much smell can really alter your mood.   Water is another good thing to have on hand.

LOL…. another little element to my little room.

Today I made a gold Star.

I cut it out.  Going to give it to Dan.  Its not much but I think he deserves it.  Today he managed to get the laundry done, watch a game of football, kids ready for a week of school, and made an outstanding dinner!  He made grilled salmon, rice and a fruit salad with french bread!  So yummy!  He has been the most amazing man through all of this.  Most amazing husband!

Finally, I think I’ve started to accept my limitations physically and mentally.  I’m a tough emotional kind of person.  I’m strong, thick headed and usually play the strong card.  I don’t like it when Dan or the kids know I’m not feeling well or hurting.  Today I decided that I just have to let part of that go.  Be ok with Dan knowing when I hurt and just keep encouraging the kiddos when they know mom doesn’t feel good.  Physically…thats almost as hard.  Its hard to have to text Dan for a mt dew or to help me in and out of the shower.  But…in some way I think it helps him out.  I think it helps him feel like hes doing something to help me get better.  He never complains when I sleep 3/4 of the day away.  Thats another tricky part… feeling like you’ve done nothing because all you’ve done is slept.

This is all just apart of the healing process and I have to just keep opening myself up and letting others help me.  Let go of the things I feel are my responsibility and let others do them.  It doesn’t change who I am.  People know I’m still me, but a better me because I’m willing to open up and ask for help.

Gn All.


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